Wednesday, December 29, 2004

Mossad? They're Bad Men. Like Shaq.

I just have to say that Arrested Development is far and away the funniest damn thing on television. It won't last as long, but I put it in the same category as Seinfeld. Which puts the count at 2.

(FYI tiny israeli: a guy I work with mentioned them today, which made me think of you.)

... Now I'm having this daydream where Mossad agents read the above sentence and mistake it for a communique from a deep cover agent and start a war or something. So, Mossad agents reading my blog: The Shibboleth is "funyun".

There, that should make sure no one takes me seriously.

Monday, December 27, 2004


For Christmas (which for me is a celebration of family/commercialism, and decidedly not the birth of the Christian Savior) I went to Lake Forest in Illinois where my aunt and uncle live, along with one of my numerous cousins and his two children, Jack and Lilly. We had a lovely xmas dinner of pork roast, some of which now resides in my fridge, and I bagged much loot, including several books, a Ralph Lauren shirt, a cat toy which Casper is currently and loudly engrossed in, and a round-trip ticked anywhere in the states (hooray!).

Sunday, after a lazy morning and afternoon, we went into Chicago to catch Spamelot!, Eric Idle's new musical lovingly ripped off from the Holy Grail movie. It was FANTASTIC, I loved it, it was simply smashing. The cast included Tim Curry as Arthur, Hank Azaria as Lancelot / French Taunter / Various Other Silly Characters, and David Hyde-Pierce as Robin / Etc. (I have a soft spot in my heart for actors with hyphenated last names, aye, so I do.) The best part, which none of you will ever see even if you go to the show, was when the set broke halfway through the second act and the producer threw Hank Azaria to the wolves, aka the audience. Hank came out and entertained us ad lib for about 10 minutes. At one point he invited questions from the audience. Inevitably someone in the front row made a horribly geeky simpsons reference that about 3 people got, to which Mr. Azaria replied in full Comic Book Guy form "Worst Reference Ever." He also did a bit of Moe, and laughingly commented "Well, this is great. I'm living the actor's nightmare."

I also got to spend a lot of time with my cousins once-removed, Jack (3) and Lilly (1). Jack is currently fascinated with Pirates, so we fought several mock battles and build a Lego pirate ship and played Peter Pan vs. Captain Hook until I was exhausted and had to take a nap. Lilly was patently adorable, which is why I let her get away with crayoning my pants.

On the whole, a wonderful weekend. Now if you'll excuse me, I have 3 days of work to do before I jet out to New York for New Year's with my sister.

Monday, December 20, 2004

Happy Festivus!

It's time to tell you bastards all my problems. Then, the feats of strength.

Actually I felt the need to update; I'm in a very non-bloggy place right now but I don't intend for this thing to die. I'll come back someday soon. Anyway, the project I've been working on continues to go well; in fact I got a rather nice Festivus Bonus from the project sponsor.

My technology mentor / project leader, Erin Rowley, (who is a man, Wilson) started a new blog. I extended him the courtesy of adding a link, and added the Book of Shenanigans to the blogroll while I was at it. Jer - this is in lieu of the giant Hershey's chocolate bar we discussed last year. As for the rest of you, a donation has been made in your name to the Human Fund.

I'm going to see Monty Python live next Monday, so I'm very excited about that, and there's the possibility of seeing the Enforcer at New Years. Go Troupe!

Monday, December 06, 2004

Erin's Belch

My boss erin just belched so loudly he hurt himself and I thought you would find that amusing. Lord knows I did :)

Wednesday, November 17, 2004

Buzz Buzz

I apologize for the lack of updates recently, but I've been a busy bee for the past couple months and I will probably continue to be so until the end of the year.

I'd just like to say the Pressure Chief kicks ass, particularly "End of the Movie", which should be in a Wes Anderson movie. Which reminds me, I can't wait to see The Life Aquatic.

-The Jord

Wednesday, November 03, 2004

Don't Blame Me, I Voted For Kodos

Well, here's to 4 more years of fiscal irresponsibility, arrogant and reckless foreign policy, discriminatory hate-mongering, and "a safer america" from terrorists who stole 400 tons of explosives from al-QaQaa.

Way to go America, way to be prejudiced and gullible.

God I'm depressed.

Sunday, October 17, 2004

Vegas Pics

As promised, here are the Vegas pics. About 2/3rds of these are from Erin.

Waiting in the airport for Erin, who missed her flight:

After arriving, Erin gets off to a good, illegal start:

The desert is truly beautiful:

Dads #1 and #2 drive us into the Luxor parking lot:

Lee's Birthday Crown:


Stu accessorizes:

ANUBIS! ... You had to be there, I guess:

Lee stuffs her face at Aladdin's sumptuous buffet feast:

The ever bashful Benjamin Lynne Riggs:

I still think I should have bought these:

Later that night, Ben and I continued where Erin had left off:

At this point we were all too drunk to take pictures, so there is a marked lack of documentation. I here skip to the following morning.

I will very carefully refrain from making any comment about the next three images except to plead for my life for having posted them on the grounds that I am an impartial documentarian:

We made a serious mess of our suite:

This is Sunday morning and I haven't lost all my money yet, so I bought bagels and orange juice for everyone:

Take that!, maids:

And that!:

Lee takes a quick nap before returning to the Strip:

Caesar's Palace takes itself a little too seriously:


And, because I couldn't resist, a few shots of Casper:

Isn't he cute?:

Well, that wraps it up for Vegas pics. Stay tuned for the coming weeks when I will talk about stuff!

Monday, October 11, 2004


Well, the gods punish hubris and I am now fantastically broke. That's right, I blew it all on several extremely ill-advised bets at Caesar's Palace.

I kept one $5 dollar chip which I will take with me the next time I go gambling to remind me that if by some miracle I win a boatload of money like that, I will take it and run.

Neverthless, I had a fantastic weekend, lots of fun with friends, and a LOT of booze. Pictures to follow.

Sunday, October 10, 2004

He's On Fire!!!

Oh my god, yesterday was amazing.

So we got up and drove to Vegas, a relatively uneventful trip made enjoyable by much jocular cameraderie. We stopped at Carl's Jr. on the way and I got a 6-Dollar Burger, which was, of course, great. We also consumed many bags of Sun Chips and much soda. We arrived in Vegas at around 1:30 but couldn't check into our fabulous suite at the Fairfield until 4, so we parked at the Luxor and went in to start gambling.

Well, this is where Jordan's Day Of Awesomeness really took off.

After Erin and I both won about a hundred bucks at the Luxor playing roulette, we checked into the hotel and hung around for a while before deciding to go to Aladdin for their buffet, which was rated best in Las Vegas last year and was very good. Worth every obscenely overpriced penny. While everyone was waiting in line for the buffet I ran over to the roulette table and won another 20 bucks. After dinner I won another c-note.

So now I'm up 220, I'm feeling great, I've had a few drinks and bought a few more for my friends. We met up and Stu and Ben and Erin wanted to play some blackjack, but the Aladdin had just upped the table limits to 10 dollars, which is standard for Saturday night, so we went in search of 5 dollar tables at another casino.

We walked past the Bellagio, which ooozes class and which I really want to go check out before we drive back to LA tonight. The coordinated fountains outside are really something special. We kept walking down the strip and ended up at the Barbary Coast and I watched Stu and Erin play blackjack for a while until I got bored, so I sat down at Erin's table and bought 40 dollars worth of chips.

I got 2 natural blackjacks and 3 regular blackjacks. I cashed out at $260. Erin also won another 150 bucks.

We went back to the suite, laden with alcohol, and played lots of fun drinking games until I passed out at around 1am, which I am sure I will be teased for once everyone else wakes up. It's currently 8:30am here - I woke up about an hour ago and wandered around until I found the hotel's internet cafe. So anyway, yeah, I'm up 400 bucks so far and lord only knows what will happen today before we go home but one thing is for sure -


Saturday, October 09, 2004

My Mouth Tastes Like Bad

Arrived in LAX yesterday with no troubles, but Wilson missed her flight so she didn't get in till 11:30pm. Since Sara Brady arrived at9ish and Stu didn't want to go back to his apartment and do another round trip to the airport, we went to IHOP for some dinner and chatting. Lee ordered eggs benedict and nearly vomited - the Hollandaise "Sauce" looked like yellow slime from a bucket and she said it tasted like sour cum.

(Aside to the Bent: I replied "So if you mixed it with peanut butter it would taste like those chocolates your mom got us?" Much amusement ensued.)

Finally picked up Wilson, went home and drank some whiskey. Stayed up whispering in the dark for several hours. Got very little sleep - heading out for Vegas in half an hour. If our suite is connected, expect more updates as the weekend ensues. I'm also trying to take pictures but the female contingent is very hostile.

Thursday, October 07, 2004

With A Wink And A Grin

My project manager, Mike, has started ribbing me about having a blog. But I refuse to curtail my personal freedom of speech just because someone from my work is constantly checking up on me. So, Mike, eat a lemon, you capering goblin.

Tuesday, October 05, 2004

Rodney Dangerfield
1921 - 2004

I guess part of growing up and becoming an adult, is watching the adults you loved (and respected) as a child pass away. Rodney, wherever you are, I hope you arrived to a standing ovation.

Don't Waste Your Vote

Don't vote for a presidential candidate you don't respect. For more options than the Powers That Be want you to know about, watch the foreign policy debate between Libertarian Party candidate Michael Badnarik and Green Party candidate David Cobb at

Stickin' It To The Man

So I just had to share this story:

I have two bosses on this project, the project manager, who is our liason to the business, and my project leader, who is the lead architect. Because we are working offsite, both of them have to go down to the street every 2 hours to feed the parking meters for their cars.

Anyway, Mike (PM) told me that last week as they were heading out, Erin was driving his car. When they got down to the street, they saw that A) There were 2 minutes left on the meter, and B) They were parked next to the meter maid's meter-car, who was still sitting in it. So as they were peeling out, Erin rolls down the driver side window and yells "Not today, fucker!"

I'm told the look of horror on Mike's face was priceless.

Monday, October 04, 2004

Take A Look, It's In A Book, A Reading Rainbow!

Fun weekend :)

I picked up mom at the airport and let Casper out of his kitty taxi. He roamed around the cabin for the next hour as we drove down to Lake Forest to visit my aunt and uncle (my mom's brother Colin). Connie, as always made a delicious dinner and as it was late we collapsed into bed.

The next day I played 9 holes of golf with Colin and David, his son and another of my numerous cousins. I had fun; I'm a crappy golfer but every now and then I get a few nice shots in. I hit one drive about 275, which they were impressed with and so was I.

Later that evening we drove into Chicago for dinner and drinks and got into a heated political discussion, ruining several nearby parties' evenings. (Colin is a staunch Republican and he was sitting at a table with 3 Democratic women, his son who is moderate, and me, a Libertarian. It got loud.) Sunday morning we drove back to Milwaukee and had a leisurely day of not doing much, and this morning while I'm at work I'm sure Mom is doing mom like things for me, like cleaning my sink and doing my laundry. Ain't she sweet? When her mind finally goes I'll make sure to put her in the best home money can buy. (Just kidding, mom. I'm foisting you off on Royale.)

Friday, October 01, 2004

Do These Sound Like The Actions Of A Man Who's Had ALL He Can Eat??

I forgot how awesome IM is. I've been having extended conversations with awesome people once or twice a day since I moved offsite and the corporate firewall wasn't around to block it. I don't know how long this will last but as long as it does, I feel connected and happy. Happy enough to post about, even.

Wednesday, September 29, 2004

Do Not Taunt Happy Fun Ball

Today was a most excellent day. First of all, there is a starbucks on the way to work that I didn't notice before. So I started of my day on time to my 9am meeting, and holding 20 ounces of low-fat hazlenut vitality. Nextly (and that is a perfectly cromulent word, you naysayers) I spent the morning arguing solution design for a problem our team was having with a certain part of the web application we are working on.

For those of you who don't understand how I am motivated, let me explain why that is cool. I am motivated by A) oodles of money and B) a challenge.

For the past several months before my current project started, not only was I not challenged, I was not given permission to be challenged. I was given no input into the solution of the project I was working on. I was simply told what to do in the rare event that the commitees and sub-committees and project managers figured out something that needed doing and for which I was qualified. I spent the rest of the time performing what amounted to glorified data entry, which is about as fun as shaving your scrotum with a rusty razor.

On THIS project I am presented with a problem and asked "How would you solve this?" When I present a theory I am told "Prove it" so I go to my laptop and start coding in a furious haze of logic and structure. I realize this is not exciting to others but it is to me, which is why I became a software engineer in the first place. It's also why my job has been fun for the past few weeks. I can only hope that when this project is finished I will find another similar one to work on.

Also for lunch I had a delicious pepper-smoked salmon and goat cheese sandwich and I am about to have some sweet ambrosia (aka coca cola) so I am sensually as well as mentally satisfied.

Mom is coming Friday and me, her and Casper are headed down to Illinois to hang with the fam down there, and then next weekend is Vegas. For those of you in the know, suddenly the air grew denser, perfumed from an unseen censer swung by seraphim whose footfalls tinkled on the tufted floor! And then I blacked out.

Sunday, September 26, 2004

It's Been A While...

Well I just got out of the tub after 2 hours reading essays on Angel courtesy of the delightful Sara Brady and I decided that Royale was right, it was long past due for me to update this blog. So what have I been up to for the past 3 weeks?

Week 1: Was violently ill Friday and Saturday, with my fever spiking at 102. Had to go in to the office all day Sunday (still not in top form, but past the worst) to make up for Friday. Spent the rest of the week going through more toilet paper than a 13 year old vandal on Halloween.

Week 2: Mostly recovered (mostly) I embark on a very interesting work week. We begin our experiment of working off-site at a nearby consultant's firm from which we are leasing office space for our 5 man development team, and we discover that GASP! our efficiency skyrockets without office politics *cough cough bullshit cough* getting in our way. Additional bonus: new location is a good 3 blocks closer to my apartment. Negation of bonus: Nearest decent cup of coffee is 4 blocks out of my way.

Week 3: Continuing our offsite development, we make good progress. In particular I deliver a fully functional zip code resolution service for which the code is snatched away by 2 other massive projects back at the home office because it is so tasty and delicious. I begin working on a message queueing solution and deliver an initial design, after which I am ripped away to begin work tomorrow morning on something else of higher priority. The team visits Krispy Kreme and we all wear paper Krispy Hats on our heads as we sit in silence furiously typing away. We name our development iterations Plain, Frosted and Glazed. Project Codename: Baker's Dozen.

Last night I went to break the fast (haha, I didn't fast! ... I'm a bad Jew.) at Felicia Styler's place, where I promptly abandoned the adults and spent 4 hours playing variations on tag with the 8 children ages 2-13 who had been dragged along. Great fun was had by all, and the night culminated with me teaching them how to play manhunt.

Mom is coming for a visit next weekend so I guess at some point I have to spruce the place up a bit. Then again, you know my motto. Never do today what you can procrastinate until the last minute! (Is procrastinate a verb?) Of course there is a corollary: Never procrastinate today what you can get fired for not having done tomorrow. Hence the original maxim is suspended at work. BUT I think I'll manage to get my blogging back on a semi-regular schedule; after all I don't want to be Stuish.

Tuesday, September 07, 2004

Weekend Update (Sans Tina Fey, Jimmy "I Can't Act" Fallon, Colin Quinn, Norm McDonald, Kevin Nealon, Jane Curtin or Dan Akroyd)

This weekend was sheer awesomeness from start to finish. First of all, geek factor 5:

Got my dark-elf monk to level 13 in Dark Alliance 2.
Captured approx. 200 monkeys and am rated at 51% through Ape Escape 2.
Broke through to the parallel world of Teth'ealla after breaking the fourth and final seal in Symphonia.
Got level 20 fishing and level 20 cooking in FFXI.

I haven't opened Phantom Brave or Star Ocean 3 yet, I'm saving them for focused individual play when I get through the current crop. BUT all the message boards are lit up with praise for both, so I'm excited to play them soon.

Additional Geeky Tidbit: Transformers DVD's arrived in swank "Premier" mail room packaging from Sara Brady, may her awesomness prevail forever, including "Best of the Autobots" and "Best of the Decepticons". Seriously, whoever came up with the name Decepticons has got to spend every day of his life thinking "I came up with the coolest name for evil robots EVER." Anyway on top of everything else recieving free swag from my "hollywood connection / new best friend forever" just made my weekend.

So on Monday my cousin Jenny threw a labor day barbeque at her house. I showed up and was immediately swarmed with women who spent about an hour cornering me telling me how much they loved my father Edward. I have to say that after the 10th time this has happened to me since moving here I wish someone would just call everybody who could possibly care that I am his son and get them all together for a meet and greet so I can be done with it. There's only so many hours of listening to people reminisce about him in front of me while I smile awkwardly at people I don't know that I can handle. But after I made my escape I was swarmed by 4 year olds demanding rides and basketball dunks and various games so that was actually a lot of fun. The food was great, Annie looked good and was having a good time. I got a little buzz on my third beer and then switched to water so I could drive home in a couple hours.

Then after the bbq all the 20 somethings came over to our apartment to watch American Splendor. Great movie. But Stu, can you do something about the disc we rented from Blockbuster? It was all scratchy and we had to skip 2 chapters.

Friday, September 03, 2004

Super Happy Fun-Time Japanese-style Bonus Post +!!!!

Please do not put the post in the mouth of the danger causing.

Logitech's new wireless xbox controller is engineering magic. I love this controller. First of all the ergonomics are wonderful - imagine a slightly thinner more svelt controller-s with elongated handles - putting the white and black buttons at thumbable distance. Also it has toggleable rumble - with 50hours of moderate rumblage on 2 AA's. Also, it has NO ON SWITCH. It's just always on, it auto-sleeps after 5 minutes of inactivity and comes back on instantly at the press of the button.

Finally, there's no channels like on the wavebird. I read up on this - each controller/reciever pair has a 128 bit signature that it broadcasts. After handshaking a connection on the default channel (the packets are signed so that if you're using multiple wireless controllers each reciever can select out the packets designated to it) a random channel is chosen on the fly. Collision detection is just choosing a new channel. This controller is fucking awesome - pick one up today.

Digital Orgy

Current games purchased: Tales of Symphonia, Star Ocean 3, Phantom Brave, FFXI
Current games rented: Baldur's Gate: Dark Alliance 2, Ape Escape 2
Upcoming Purchases: Fable, Halo 2, Paper Mario 2, Chains of Promathia, Kingdom Hearts 2

It's a good time to be a gamer, god damnit! However my body is aging rapidly on 3 weeks of 5 hours of sleep a night. Whatever, I'll rest when I'm over 30.

P.S. I wish I had 3 local gamer friends in order to justify a purchase of X-Men: Legends. Maybe I'll just go visit Bent and his associates and make a gift of it to them in exchange for 24 hours of gamer servitude.

*need more coffee* *twitch, bitch, twitch*

Thursday, August 19, 2004

The Onion Does It Again...

Once again the dry wit of the Onion reminds us why it, and not Alanis, understands irony:

Jumping On The Bandwagon.

1. something you hear everyday: the dull grate of a key entering a lock.
2. if you owned a bar, what would you name it? The Great Jordini’s
3. if you could be any character in a book, who would you be? God
4. Count your blessings: Friends, Intelligence, Nationality
5. what is the most radical change you've ever made to your appearance? The Evil Beard for Edgar
7. something that you are currently excited by: Prospect of hitting level 50.
8. what did you eat for lunch today? Creamed spinach and lemon basted chicken breast.
9. everyone lives in fear of something. what are you afraid of? Pain, early death, prison.
10. if you were named after a descriptive characteristic (i.e. Grace, Patience, etc.), which would it be? Bravado.
11. in a perfect world, what would you be doing right now? Drinking with lee, erin, et. al.
12. what can you see outside the nearest window? Blue Cross Blue Shield WI (main competitor)
13. something great you just discovered: Meriphtaud mountains are great for farming.
14. what are your thoughts on stay-at-home vs. working mothers? Whatever works for you, works for me.
15. where would you like to take the blame? To Bush’s ranch.
16. something nice someone did for you recently: Alex Dryer got me drunk (you don’t know her)
17. last time you laughed out loud: Reading ultimate spiderman. Peter’s costume is all messed up, and a thug he is fighting asks where his real costume is. Spidey replies “Your mom is washing it for me.”
18. people get what they deserve. discuss: No. People get what they take.
19. your next big purchase will be: HDTV
20. how would you define demeaning? The way I treat Mikey.
21. hello! everything is wonderful because: I finally got around to posting again.
22. the most bizarre thing you did yesterday: Explained to a stranger how to communicate love to my cat with his eyes.
23. so you catch your metaphorical (or real, as the case may be) child smoking. how do you respond? Deliberately severe disappointment coupled with frank discussion.
24. a word you use to fill lulls in conversation: “I’m great!”
25. favorite way to celebrate something great: trip to LA.

Monday, August 16, 2004

Transcript of Drunken Voicemail from Walsh:

Mike: “Dude, that, that message sucks! You sound like a douche-bag! Uh, this is Michael Patrick Walsh, and I'm callin to let you know that I finally caved in, and I've been using the hookah. ”

Female Voice in background: “Hey there cowboy!”

Mike: “And uh, we also wanted to rub it in that we're all sitting around using the hookah and having fun, and you're not here. And Ben said something about making fun of your cousin... so, uh... What?”

Ben in background: “Ask how his cousin was!”

Mike: “Ohhh...”

Jason in background: “Oh SHIT!”

Mike: “Uh... hope your cousin's doing well.


You know, laugh it off, it's me. That'll excuse it.


This is awkward.”

Male voice in background: “Hang up.”

Mike sighs dejectedly.

Erin in background: “Hang up the phone, Mike.”

Mike: “Bye Jordan. I love you.”

[I could not imagine a more appropriate 200th post. And now, as a bonus, the long awaited cape party pics. -Ed]

Tuesday, July 27, 2004

Post 199

This is my 199th post. I don't know what I'm going to do for my 200th post, but I want it to be something cool, so I'm going to get this out of the way right now.

Casper just hotboxed me. His kitty-farts are rank.


Monday, July 26, 2004


It's Summerfest in Vana'diel, and the three major cities of Bastok, San d'Oria, and Windurst are putting on a fireworks display for their citizens every evening for the next few weeks. It's the little things like this that make FFXI so addictive to me :)

Cool Stuff That Happened

Like my imaginative title?

Anyway last Tuesday Royale and her boyfriend Chris were in town so I took the day off work to hang out with them. It was a fun day, we started off by going to Kopps for cheeseburgers and milkshakes, which everyone thoroughly enjoyed. Then I took them both to Potawatami for their first gambling experience - Chris broke even and Royale and I both came out 50 bucks up.

Lee - you'll no doubt be amused to know that I was 50 bucks down and made my winnings by dropping a c-note on red, just like in Vegas :)

After that we went to a barbecue at the Steinberger's house on Lake Drive, where much tasty meat was eaten. Annie was there, looking good, and a bunch of the kids were there too. I got to engage in a little pyromania because Chickie (my aunt) had bought a bunch of sparklers and fireworks for the kids.

Over the weekend me and the Riggs got together to see Napoleon Dynamite. I enjoyed myself but had some reservations about the piece. It struck me as mostly an ambiance piece, more about mood and theme than plot per se, as nothing really happened. The timing was kind of long in some places, and then there were 20 second shorts that were pure brilliance. It also reminded me of Andy Kauffman in that I got the impression that a lot of what happened in the film was more for the ensemble's amusement than that of the audience. In any case, I look forward to the filmmakers next work.

Ben also mentioned that he might be starting a tabletop game on alternate mondays, so you might be getting some über-geekiness from me in the near future about saving rolls and congress authorizing me to grant myself charisma+5 (hail bush!).

Monday, July 19, 2004


"Who said there are no WMDs in Iraq? The most dangerous WMD exists and the American troops captured it. It’s the weapon that exterminated five million Iraqis and hundreds of thousands from our neighbors impoverished, detained and tortured. Saddam Hussain is the WMD in Iraq. Isn’t a weapon with such capabilities worth to go for a war to (disarm it)? Saving twenty million people from that weapon, isn’t that worth the effort?" Hasan Al-Shammari-Baghdad.

I read Iraqthemodel pretty much every day. It's run by 3 iraqi brothers, one of whom is a doctor. It is absolutely fascinating and never fails to report stories the big media don't care about, and it always gives me something to think about. If you are conflicted about the Iraq war, read this site. Regardless of the justifications given by the Bush and Blair administrations, faulty intelligence, whatever; after reading this site you will understand why this war was absolutely necessary and just.

Wednesday, July 14, 2004

FMA Status

The Senate just voted down a motion for cloture 48-50, meaning that Santorum and his far right cronys will be able to filibuster. Since it's looking more and more like they are heading for a humiliating defeat this afternoon, they probably will. More as the situation progresses.

Update: I misunderstood the significance of the afore-mentioned vote. Because the motion was shot down, debate will continue. For years. Essentially the senate voted down the amendment itself. Hooray!

Update 2: After further wikipedia perusal I now understand what I got wrong. Basically, in motioning for cloture, the Santorumites were moving to force a vote. The people who could have filibustered would actually be the democrats, in a move to prevent the vote taking place. But they would only do that if they didn't have the votes to shoot the amendment down, which they overwhelmingly did. Several key republican senators who disagreed with the amendment on federalist principals (notably John McCain) voted for cloture anyway because they knew they were going down 48-50 and it was better for the party to lose the motion for cloture than to lose 36 - 64 on an actual amendment vote.

New Kid On The Blog

"Who steals my purse steals trash; 'tis something, nothing; 'twas mine, 'tis his, and has been slave to thousands; but he that filches from me my good name robs me of that which not enriches him and makes me poor indeed."

There's someone else with a good name new to my blogroll - welcome, Willow, to the blogosphere. Prepare to be addicted.

Monday, July 12, 2004

Übergeeks Unite!


What's better than an officially sanctioned short film about Spiderman available free on the web*?

One made with stop-motion animation and legos.

*No pun intended.

Friday, July 09, 2004

Media Irresponsibility

Has there ever been a letter Americans needed more than this one?

Why was this not published free of charge on the front of the Times, the Cape Codder, the Tribune, etc.?


Monday, July 05, 2004

Hello From LaLa Land!

Just a quick hello from LA, specifically Studio City, Lee and Stu's apt. More on the trip when I get back, but P-Saudi took all the digital piccies so you'll have to check his site for visual aids (see blogroll).


Thursday, July 01, 2004

IntraOffice Amusements

So there's this woman in my office who (thank god) sits nowhere near me, my floor taking up approximately 5000 square feet, but whom I walk past probably 5 to 6 times a day on my way to the elevator / bathroom / whatever.

Note: the following is not an exaggeration.

For the past two months, every time I walk past her she is playing, at a somewhat reasonable volume, Evanescence's Fallen. She doesn't listen to anything else. It's just Evanescence on permanent repeat, 24/7, and it's been that way for at least 9 weeks.

Don't get me wrong, Fallen is a fun album to listen to. Some of the songs sound the same but Amy Lee is a good vocalist and it's a strong first effort. But I imagine the people in a 3-cube radius around her must want to murder her in cruel and unusual ways.


Wednesday, June 30, 2004

Mikey's Favorite TV Segment From Conan Was Mr. T Picking Apples


I picked up the deluxe 2-disc remastering of the Blue Album yesterday and it's kicking my ass. The channels are crystal clear (you can hear the picking on the acoustic sections) and I had forgotten how awesome the vocals in Holiday and Surf Wax America were. In The Garage has always been something of an anthem for the dorkier D&D side of my personality and My Name Is Jonas has this great faux-rage that lights a fire under me. I'm sitting in my cubicle silently headbanging away, and the 2nd disc is full of rare and unreleased gems. If you haven't picked this edition up, it's worth the investment.

In other music news, looking for the Tennenbaum's soundtrack, and listening to RJD2's The Horror. Avril's new album is not as good as Let Go.

I'm undecided as to whether or not to pick up the Velvet Revolver album - I heard it was shittily mixed and that Weiland's voice (the basic draw for me, a long-time STP fan) is drowned out by generic rythm guitar. Has anyone listened to it yet?

But mostly just rocking out to the Blue Album.


I want to collaborate with the funny people I know on the following sketch:

Dan Rather (or other) interviews the various crazies from the Boston area, like Crazy Grenade Tosser, and Toothless Korean with Headband, and Collects Lots of Cans Lady, about politics, the upcoming election, the war in Iraq, etc. Then I want to record it to mp3 and publish it on the blog.

Then I want to keep writing radio style sketch bits over the next year until we have a small repertoire, and then I want to send a CD to various people in the biz.

If you want to help me write, or help me act out the bits and own a computer microphone, say so in the comments section. I'm thinking of getting together with Riggs next weekend to get started. If this pans out we may just wait until the next combat and do that instead.

Tuesday, June 29, 2004


I'm pretty sure Persaud has a shot in hell of catching the reference, and maybe Bobh, but I had to post it anyway.'s Photoshop Phriday feature is consistently amusing:

Monday, June 28, 2004


Wow, so my last post garnered quite a lot of impassioned comments from my readership. I thought I'd throw out my $0.02 on the 2-party system issue, and since it's my blog, I get to post in the big space out front.

Here's my thinking: Obviously the 2 party system sucks. Both Kerry and Bush are retarded hampsters who should not be in charge of the system. But if I vote for Badnarik or Kucinich or whatever other fringe candidate most matches my views, I could be pulling votes from Kerry, right? Isn't it better to vote for the lesser of two evil retarded hampsters?

My opinion is, no. This line of thinking has a valid short-term point, which is that while Kerry will shit all over the box, Bush will give you rabies. But I prefer to think long term. We must get out of the 2 party trap in this country, and always thinking short term will always land us in the pet store.

The single most important point for voting fringe is that no candidate has a shot in hell at the presidency until they can enter the national debates (Ross Perot had a significant chunk of the vote percentage in 1992; part of this was his massive personal wealth dedicated to advertising, but part of it was his involvement in the debates). It's free publicity and lots of unengaged voters actually watch bits of the debates.

Here is this year's criteria from the Commission on Presidential Debates (an organization funded by the GOP and DNC, by the way):

"Fifteen percent support of the national electorate as determined by the average of five national public opinion polls taken as close to the first debate as practicable. The polls to be used will be announced no later than September 10."

If we can get a third person up on stage who is a capable debater, who has actual opinions and who doesn't pander to the audience, we can show the average voter that the hampsters are, well, hampsters, and not men who can or should lead the nation.

The second reason to vote for a fringe candidate is that money wins elections. As I mentioned above, Ross Perot did very well before the "dirty tricks" scandal because of his personal wealth. The following is from the U.S. Department of State website:

"The nominees of the Democratic and Republican parties are each eligible to receive a grant from the FEC to cover all the expenses of their general election campaign, and they may not spend more than the amount of the grant. In 1996, the grant was $61.82 million per candidate. A third-party presidential candidate may qualify to receive some public funds after the general election if he or she receives at least 5 percent of the popular vote."

Yes, if you vote for Nader or Badnarik, it may mean ceding the country to Bush for another 4 years. But with the country as sharply polarized as it is, with discourse sinking to the level of kindergarten name calling, with a Republican party hijacked by the religious right and the Democrats unable to find their own assholes, there will be another Dubya and another Kerry with different names in 2008. And 2012. And 2016. Until we force the establishment to change, we will be voting for retarded hampsters until the day our children inhereit the massive, crippling debt we are forcing on them right now.

That's why this November I will be voting on principle: I disagree with Badnarik on Iraq, but agree with him on almost everything else. By voting for him, I help inch towards the inclusion of a skilled orator in the national debates and the federal funding of the libertarian party. I'm tired of voting for retarded hampsters: this year I'm voting for an adult.

Thursday, June 24, 2004

Those Wacky Libertarians

A Thought Experiment

Suppose for a moment that you have a hot friend named Nicole.

Now suppose that one day I'm talking to you and I say something to the effect of "Man, I saw Nicole yesterday and she was looking hot! After I saw her I went straight home and rubbed one out." Now suppose the next day you and I are chatting again and I say "I saw Nicole again today, she's lost a lot of weight but her breasts are still big. Anyway, I went home after I bumped into her and spanked the monkey." Every day for the next 3 months you get a variant on "Nicole is hot! I ran into her at the mall. Then I went home to choke my weasel."

After 3 months you get tired of hearing about my private recreational habits so you set me up on a date with Nicole. However when you tell me this I give you an odd look and say "Why on earth did you do that? I'm gay!"

Despite the fact that I never technically lied to you, wouldn't you feel you had been decieved? Maybe even intentionally decieved?

Just some food for thought.

Saturday, June 19, 2004

Advice to the J-Squad


If your apartment life is in any way similar to life at 35 Chester oh those many years ago, I suspect that you eat a lot of Annies, a lot of Spikes, and if Jeremy has a say in things, a whole fucking lot of ice cream.

Let me pass on a suggestion that I was given tonight, much to my culinary delight.

Purchase some fresh corn on the cob. Boil up some water. Drop the corn in for 3-4 minutes, and cover with lid.

Apply butter and salt as preferred.



Friday, June 18, 2004

The Natural Order of Things

Did you know that homosexual dolphins regularly engage in oral sex?

Thursday, June 17, 2004

One bit more on the Beeb...

For those of you who have never used a TiVo or similar digital video recorder, sorry.

You know how when you set your DVR to record a show, there's usually between one to two and a half minutes of commercials at the start? No matter which channel you're on?

Everything I record on the bbc starts precisely on time. That little tiny bit of time where the screen is black in between the last commercial and the intro with the theme song? The beeb has that perfectly timed for time/warner's service, for every show.

Here's to British* information technology!

*Please, no more than one tut tut or wot wot per person per comment. Maximum of 3 per household.

Tuesday, June 15, 2004

A solid hour of stylish, unabashed, beautiful chavinism.

If you aren't watching Roger Moore as Simon Templar in BBC America's The Saint, you should be. To quote Emma about RadioHead's Pablo Honey, "It's fucking brilliant!"

Thursday, June 10, 2004

Farewell, Ray

There's an old saying that things come in threes; earlier this week Ronald Reagan passed and today Ray Charles did. I fear a third. Both were men who strode large the corridors of the American landscape - both were strongly spiritual men who genuinely believed in America.

Ray Charles once did a collaboration with Billy Joel on a song called "Baby Grand". It's a love song and a ballad to Music, with her infinitely diverse variations, flows, heart and soul. It's one of my favorite songs to listen to.

Every time I saw Mr. Charles on tv or film, or heard him on the radio, I saw a smile on his face or heard one in his voice. He took a pure joy in practicing his craft, and that simple happiness was absorbed by his audience. He will be sorely missed.

Wednesday, June 09, 2004

Note to Self:

Look, the whole new era thing is great and you're doing a good job sticking to your plan. But don't make things hard on yourself! Next time you want to jog 7 miles, save the sandwich and 2 beers till after you run.

*queasy burp*


It makes me a little irritated that Bush will give Reagan's eulogy. The whole point of a eulogy is to honor a man's life with a speech, something even W has admitted he's crap at. Why hog the limelight for a few cheap political sympathy points? Let someone who speaks well, maybe even someone who actually believes in Reagan Republicanism instead of Blinding By The Right, deliver a sendoff for the great man.

I mean, where's John McCain?


UPDATE: I was just informed that the Reagan family invited W to speak, so I retract my "political points" comment. Upon further thought I suppose it is an honor to have a sitting president speak at your funeral, and the family will have a more intimate funeral later in the week. However, I still think Reagan deserves a better speaker. I wonder if Bush will even write it himself?

Tuesday, June 01, 2004

The Dawn Of A New Era

Miles run: 2
Poker games attending tonight: 1
Feelings eaten in form of sugary treat: 0

Go Me!

P.S.: I girls.

Saturday, May 29, 2004


Hoobastank's new single The Reason is a really good song.

Thursday, May 27, 2004

Shrek 2: Amusing

So I went to see Shrek 2 today, and it was great fun. I must say, I took a certain perverse pleasure in imagining Antonio Banderas (who was a scene-stealer fo sheezy) in a recording studio somewhere being told by the voice director "Ok, now in this scene you've just been caught licking yourself by the princess; and go!"

This was only topped, of course, by the perverse pleasure taken in knowing that I and possibly one or two others of all the people in the audience knew exactly why the fairy godmother was absolutely fabulous.

Pics of Cape Party Episode V: The Empire Strikes Back With Liquor, will be up when I feel like it.

Thursday, May 20, 2004

View From My New Apartment

Hoagizine: The New Perscription Sandwich From Pfizer

The extra-potent sandwich passed rigorous testing in both branches of the FDA in February. In clinical trials, 96 percent of patients who administered the sandwich orally experienced a deliciousness they described as "heightened," "intense," or even "overwhelming." In the same trial, only 16 percent of those who received placebo sandwiches reported experiencing high levels of deliciousness.

In preparation for Monday's announcement, Pfizer produced 800,000 units of the oral sandwich and distributed them to pharmacies nationwide. Additionally, Pfizer personnel sent out samples of Hoagizine and educated physicians on patient-screening procedures, treatment regimens, and serving suggestions.


Pfizer spokesman Abdul Johnson said Pfizer may soon offer an even more potent version of the sandwich, Hoagizine CM, which contains 10 grams of chipotle mayonnaise.

Wednesday, May 19, 2004

Joss Whedon is My Hero

That was possibly the best, most satisfying, least disappointing series finale I have ever seen.

And an actual, legitimate surprise twist that I NEVER saw coming...

Damn. I can't wait to see what he does next.

Um, yeah...

I just remembered the dream I had last night. In it, all the water in the world turned into babies. So the Atlantic ocean, for example, was a seething mass of babies instead of water.

Weird, huh?

Stolen from wmetoile

1. you know the person you stole this from how exactly?
I met sarah during Bahstahn Reunion #1 of the current year when crashing on the Enforcer's couch.
2. top three current obsessions:
Final Fantasy XI, Jennifer Garner, Casper
3. if you had to only eat one snack food for the rest of your life, what would it be?
Snack food, eh? Probably Cheetos. Unless they find a way to make filet minion into a chip.
4. if you could choose one thing about your personal appearance to change (with magic, not scalpels) what would it be?
I would make it so that eating burned about half of the calories of whatever I'm eating.
5. if you could choose one thing about your personality to change (with magic, not therapy) what would it be?
I would like to be able to be more patient with people who aren't as competent as I am, as my percieved (and quite possibly real) contempt is getting me in trouble at work.
6. say you use a fun yet probably illegal music downloading site – which one do you use?
Let's say instead I use a fun yet probably illegal anime downloading site - it would be called
7. what is the most crazy, outlandish thing you would do for, say, $9.76 million dollars?
Per a you-had-to-be-there-conversation at 35 Chester, I would drink approximately 1 liter of urine.
8. if you had to be a contestant on a reality tv show, what kind of show would it be?
Do quiz shows count as reality? If not, I'd have to say an acting version of American Idol.
9. if you could only watch one television channel for the rest of your life, which one would it be?
Oooooh tough one. Probably comedy central, for the Daily Show.
10. top three favorite websites of the moment:
11. do you have a favorite recipe of all time – if so, tell me how to make it right here: Take several potatos and boil for 10 minutes. Carve into medium sized chunks, cover with extra virgin olive oil, salt, taragon, rosemary. Bake for 30 minutes at 350 while occasionally brushing with more olive oil (or butter) until edges are golden brown and crispy.
12. book that influenced you as a child:
Susan Cooper's The Dark Is Rising series, A Stitch In Time, and (huh, I never realized this but it explains a lot) Anne of Green Gables. Oh, and Antoine St. Exuperie's Le Petit Prince.
13. say you’re on an airplane – where are you most likely going?
14. where would you rather be going?
LA, or possibly Tokyo
15. favorite animated character of all time:
Ayanami Rei
16. top three movie soundtracks (movies of stage musicals don’t count):
City Of Angels, The Breakfast Club, Jurassic Park/Star Wars: A New Hope (tie)
17. best villain EVER (doesn’t matter if they are from a book, movie, tv show, whatever):

The Joker
18. if you had to choose between electricity and running water which would you choose?
Electricity. I would leash my cat and let him search out running water in the middle of downtown Milwaukee, and you know what? He'd find some.
19. having spent a long sunny day at the beach, you are parched. God loves you and opens a deli where everything is free right there on the sand. you have every type of bottled water imaginable right there for the taking – which one do you choose?
Probably Aquafina or IceMountain
20. really, what should you actually be doing right now?


I have a bachelors degree in computer science, I know 15 different computer languages, I can write a compiler, a ray-tracer, and a network protocol, and for the past 5 months I've been doing USER ADMINISTRATION.


Sunday, May 16, 2004

A Few Shots of Casper

I've had some of these on my hard drive for a while and since I've got a spare moment, here are some shots of Casper.

The first two are great shots that I took when I noticed him lounging on the table with dappled light from the Venetian blinds floating on him:

This one I took for fun and it turned out pretty well:

The last two shots are from the new apartment. In the first one, you can see that Casper has a knack for getting up near the ceiling wherever he goes:

And finally, catnapping in the new scratching-post / kitty apartment Connie and Colin gave me for my birthday (which I finally got around to putting together for the little guy):

Let's all say it together now... "AWWWW!"

Friday, May 14, 2004

すけい です ね?!

Natalie Portman speaks Japanese.


one step closer to the dream...

Parceque Je Peux

"Do you want to know how I know, beyond any doubt, that I am an actor at heart?

It's quite simple really. Any time that I'm alone for any significant stretch of time, even just an hour, I talk to myself. I get these ideas for scenes, not even scenes, just scenelets, and I act them out. I speak soliloquies and confessions, explanations and songs, whispered secrets or foreign accents. Whatever wanders through my head, when I'm alone and social propriety doesn't bind me, I emote. It's not something I do purposely, either; I simply find myself talking aloud to the wall, in character."

I was watching tv 5 minutes ago, spaced out for a few seconds, and then turned to Casper and said the above, verbatim. Then I had to rewind.


I don't know how many of you both a) know Justin (most of you, I imagine) and b) have extensively perused the slow kids website, but this amused me: