Mikey's Favorite TV Segment From Conan Was Mr. T Picking Apples

Dude,

I picked up the deluxe 2-disc remastering of the Blue Album yesterday and it's kicking my ass. The channels are crystal clear (you can hear the picking on the acoustic sections) and I had forgotten how awesome the vocals in Holiday and Surf Wax America were. In The Garage has always been something of an anthem for the dorkier D&D side of my personality and My Name Is Jonas has this great faux-rage that lights a fire under me. I'm sitting in my cubicle silently headbanging away, and the 2nd disc is full of rare and unreleased gems. If you haven't picked this edition up, it's worth the investment.

In other music news, looking for the Tennenbaum's soundtrack, and listening to RJD2's The Horror. Avril's new album is not as good as Let Go.

I'm undecided as to whether or not to pick up the Velvet Revolver album - I heard it was shittily mixed and that Weiland's voice (the basic draw for me, a long-time STP fan) is drowned out by generic rythm guitar. Has anyone listened to it yet?

But mostly just rocking out to the Blue Album.

Ideas

I want to collaborate with the funny people I know on the following sketch:

Dan Rather (or other) interviews the various crazies from the Boston area, like Crazy Grenade Tosser, and Toothless Korean with Headband, and Collects Lots of Cans Lady, about politics, the upcoming election, the war in Iraq, etc. Then I want to record it to mp3 and publish it on the blog.

Then I want to keep writing radio style sketch bits over the next year until we have a small repertoire, and then I want to send a CD to various people in the biz.

If you want to help me write, or help me act out the bits and own a computer microphone, say so in the comments section. I'm thinking of getting together with Riggs next weekend to get started. If this pans out we may just wait until the next combat and do that instead.

Heh...

I'm pretty sure Persaud has a shot in hell of catching the reference, and maybe Bobh, but I had to post it anyway. Somethingawful.com's Photoshop Phriday feature is consistently amusing:

Ok...

Wow, so my last post garnered quite a lot of impassioned comments from my readership. I thought I'd throw out my $0.02 on the 2-party system issue, and since it's my blog, I get to post in the big space out front.

Here's my thinking: Obviously the 2 party system sucks. Both Kerry and Bush are retarded hampsters who should not be in charge of the system. But if I vote for Badnarik or Kucinich or whatever other fringe candidate most matches my views, I could be pulling votes from Kerry, right? Isn't it better to vote for the lesser of two evil retarded hampsters?

My opinion is, no. This line of thinking has a valid short-term point, which is that while Kerry will shit all over the box, Bush will give you rabies. But I prefer to think long term. We must get out of the 2 party trap in this country, and always thinking short term will always land us in the pet store.

The single most important point for voting fringe is that no candidate has a shot in hell at the presidency until they can enter the national debates (Ross Perot had a significant chunk of the vote percentage in 1992; part of this was his massive personal wealth dedicated to advertising, but part of it was his involvement in the debates). It's free publicity and lots of unengaged voters actually watch bits of the debates.

Here is this year's criteria from the Commission on Presidential Debates (an organization funded by the GOP and DNC, by the way):

"Fifteen percent support of the national electorate as determined by the average of five national public opinion polls taken as close to the first debate as practicable. The polls to be used will be announced no later than September 10."

If we can get a third person up on stage who is a capable debater, who has actual opinions and who doesn't pander to the audience, we can show the average voter that the hampsters are, well, hampsters, and not men who can or should lead the nation.

The second reason to vote for a fringe candidate is that money wins elections. As I mentioned above, Ross Perot did very well before the "dirty tricks" scandal because of his personal wealth. The following is from the U.S. Department of State website:

"The nominees of the Democratic and Republican parties are each eligible to receive a grant from the FEC to cover all the expenses of their general election campaign, and they may not spend more than the amount of the grant. In 1996, the grant was $61.82 million per candidate. A third-party presidential candidate may qualify to receive some public funds after the general election if he or she receives at least 5 percent of the popular vote."

Yes, if you vote for Nader or Badnarik, it may mean ceding the country to Bush for another 4 years. But with the country as sharply polarized as it is, with discourse sinking to the level of kindergarten name calling, with a Republican party hijacked by the religious right and the Democrats unable to find their own assholes, there will be another Dubya and another Kerry with different names in 2008. And 2012. And 2016. Until we force the establishment to change, we will be voting for retarded hampsters until the day our children inhereit the massive, crippling debt we are forcing on them right now.

That's why this November I will be voting on principle: I disagree with Badnarik on Iraq, but agree with him on almost everything else. By voting for him, I help inch towards the inclusion of a skilled orator in the national debates and the federal funding of the libertarian party. I'm tired of voting for retarded hampsters: this year I'm voting for an adult.

Those Wacky Libertarians

A Thought Experiment

Suppose for a moment that you have a hot friend named Nicole.

Now suppose that one day I'm talking to you and I say something to the effect of "Man, I saw Nicole yesterday and she was looking hot! After I saw her I went straight home and rubbed one out." Now suppose the next day you and I are chatting again and I say "I saw Nicole again today, she's lost a lot of weight but her breasts are still big. Anyway, I went home after I bumped into her and spanked the monkey." Every day for the next 3 months you get a variant on "Nicole is hot! I ran into her at the mall. Then I went home to choke my weasel."

After 3 months you get tired of hearing about my private recreational habits so you set me up on a date with Nicole. However when you tell me this I give you an odd look and say "Why on earth did you do that? I'm gay!"

Despite the fact that I never technically lied to you, wouldn't you feel you had been decieved? Maybe even intentionally decieved?

Just some food for thought.

Advice to the J-Squad

Guys,

If your apartment life is in any way similar to life at 35 Chester oh those many years ago, I suspect that you eat a lot of Annies, a lot of Spikes, and if Jeremy has a say in things, a whole fucking lot of ice cream.

Let me pass on a suggestion that I was given tonight, much to my culinary delight.

Purchase some fresh corn on the cob. Boil up some water. Drop the corn in for 3-4 minutes, and cover with lid.

Apply butter and salt as preferred.

Eat.

Mmmmmmmmmmmmmmm.

The Natural Order of Things

Did you know that homosexual dolphins regularly engage in oral sex?

One bit more on the Beeb...

For those of you who have never used a TiVo or similar digital video recorder, sorry.

You know how when you set your DVR to record a show, there's usually between one to two and a half minutes of commercials at the start? No matter which channel you're on?

Everything I record on the bbc starts precisely on time. That little tiny bit of time where the screen is black in between the last commercial and the intro with the theme song? The beeb has that perfectly timed for time/warner's service, for every show.

Here's to British* information technology!

*Please, no more than one tut tut or wot wot per person per comment. Maximum of 3 per household.

A solid hour of stylish, unabashed, beautiful chavinism.

If you aren't watching Roger Moore as Simon Templar in BBC America's The Saint, you should be. To quote Emma about RadioHead's Pablo Honey, "It's fucking brilliant!"

Farewell, Ray

There's an old saying that things come in threes; earlier this week Ronald Reagan passed and today Ray Charles did. I fear a third. Both were men who strode large the corridors of the American landscape - both were strongly spiritual men who genuinely believed in America.

Ray Charles once did a collaboration with Billy Joel on a song called "Baby Grand". It's a love song and a ballad to Music, with her infinitely diverse variations, flows, heart and soul. It's one of my favorite songs to listen to.

Every time I saw Mr. Charles on tv or film, or heard him on the radio, I saw a smile on his face or heard one in his voice. He took a pure joy in practicing his craft, and that simple happiness was absorbed by his audience. He will be sorely missed.

Note to Self:

Look, the whole new era thing is great and you're doing a good job sticking to your plan. But don't make things hard on yourself! Next time you want to jog 7 miles, save the sandwich and 2 beers till after you run.

*queasy burp*

Grrr

It makes me a little irritated that Bush will give Reagan's eulogy. The whole point of a eulogy is to honor a man's life with a speech, something even W has admitted he's crap at. Why hog the limelight for a few cheap political sympathy points? Let someone who speaks well, maybe even someone who actually believes in Reagan Republicanism instead of Blinding By The Right, deliver a sendoff for the great man.

I mean, where's John McCain?

Bah.


UPDATE: I was just informed that the Reagan family invited W to speak, so I retract my "political points" comment. Upon further thought I suppose it is an honor to have a sitting president speak at your funeral, and the family will have a more intimate funeral later in the week. However, I still think Reagan deserves a better speaker. I wonder if Bush will even write it himself?

The Dawn Of A New Era

Miles run: 2
Poker games attending tonight: 1
Feelings eaten in form of sugary treat: 0

Go Me!


P.S.: I girls.