Wednesday, December 31, 2003

I Got A Kitty For Chanukah!

Here are some pics:

1. Casper (that's his name) hanging out on my bed.

2. Trying to eat my eyelashes.

3. Interested in a mop.

4. Yawning - this one could be in a kitten calendar :)

Happy New Year!

Monday, December 22, 2003

Speaking of Coincidences...

I forgot to mention that at the airport picking up my mom and sister friday night, I bumped into Styx. I couldn't remember his name / slow name at the time, so I just went "Hey you!" and we waved at each other. Apparently he lives in Kenosha.

I don't know what that means, but I think it means something. Perhaps the Slow Kids, in conspiracy with Canada, are planning to execute a coup and take over the guvermint?

Friday, December 19, 2003


"Start off by introducing yourself to the people." -JORDAN

Hello, the people. :) This is Jordan's younger but much more intimidating sister. Or so he told me tonight. Did any of you know that Jordan is really evil on the inside? I can tell you some of the things that he used to do to me:

1) Spin me up in our swingset's chair so that I could not be spun ANY MORE, and then would leave me and go inside while I spun in vomitous circles until I fell off the swing.

2) Threw a tantrum over the infamous "ORANGE ICE CUBES" when Mom decided to leave Jordan as my BABYSITTER. This was Mom's best decision ever for the vengeance of a little sister.

But it's all okay, you see, due to one special dinner with our old dog, Daga. Mom and Dad were going out to dinner and so had cooked for just J and I. Jordan ate ALL of his broccoli; I, however, put mine on the floor for our dog. Daga had some RANK ASS BREATH. She chewed a little on the broccoli, getting some drool and pieces of her hair into it, and then spat it back out. When my dad came downstairs, I said, "Dad! Look! I ate ALL of my broccoli and Jordan fed his to Daga!" Dad then made Jordan eat the RANK ASS DOG BREATH BROCCOLI. Triumphant I stand. :) Onto Jordan...

Ok folks, it's the real Slim Shady back at the keyboard and I have a few qualifications I'd like to add.
1) In my defense, the swingset thing was hilarious.
2) Royale had her own fair share of torturous incidents, Daga's ass-breath aside.

2.A) When I was 9, Royale pantsed me in front of the entire neighborhood at the end of summer vacation.
2.B) There was one time where I was on the couch watching TV, and Royale came in and wanted to watch something else. I told her I didn't care and she screamed, and when Mom came down "He choked me!" while I sat bewildered with the remote in my hands. When they punished me (GRRR) I punched a hole in the wall and then Royale helped me hide it from Dad.

So I guess the one thing you could say about me and Royale is that aside from our fighting, we always stuck together against mom and dad.

OH MY GOD, BERYL. We have so much to say about Beryl!

Beryl was our 75-year old , 4'1" babysitter with a southern drawl who basically sat in front of our television for weeks at time when Mom and Dad went on vacation. We almost went insane.

"Ro-Ann! Ro-Ann, what's a morun?"

Beryl continually mispronounced Royale's name as Ro-Ann. And a morun is her way of saying 'moron'.
We also used to eat meatloaf all the time. But it's not very funny unless you are me and Royale. We just like to say "Beryl" and think about that weird old woman in the blue shirt and brown cardigan.

Her face was so pointy, I thought she was going to like, poke out my eyes.

Yeah. And it was wrinkly too. We were such little shits.

And she had freckles! So many freckles!

Ok let's talk about something else.

You go.

< time passes >

We have talked about much shit and laughed our asses off, and we don't want to write anymore cause we're having too much fun. I'll post something tomorrow morning.


Anime Update

I got further into Ai Yori Aoshi last night. For those interested, get bitTorrent and head over to Kickass Anime. Thoughts: it's much more mature than typical hotel anime (although it retains the light-hearted air of embarrasment comedy). The characters are in their 20's instead of ~16, and the internal monologues seems less far-fetched and more relatable. I can actually imagine myself in some (some) of the situations.

There's one thing detracting from my enjoyment however, which is that one of the main musical themes is very similar to a song from "Run Ronnie Run". So every time Kaoru and Aoi-chan hug, this theme plays, and all I can hear is David Cross singing "Y'all are brutalizing me... y'all are bru-ta-li-zin'.... ME!!!!"

By the way, since my computer crashed I need everyone's email / snail-mail address to send XmaKa cards and candy. (XmaKa © 2003 Nizani Industries, Ltd.)

Thursday, December 18, 2003


Welcome, ladies and gentlemen, to the holidays. It's a time of gift-giving and bonuses, family and food. And to start the season right, may I suggest that you go read about the real cost of Christmas.

But seriously folks, what kind of an update would it be if I didn't bore you all with tales of work. I have recently been given a whole host of new responsibilities, which makes me excited for the future. Basically my company and 2 of its sister companies are implementing a new time management / project management system. That means that everybody enters their timesheets for the week on this system and it automatically collates the data, presents interesting pie charts to the CEO and the rest of Mahogany Row, and manages workflows for projects.

Why does Jordi find this exciting? Because he's been tasked as the administrator of the entire system. That's right folks, the majority of the company's day-to-day operations data is in my hands, and the only limiting factor of all the power they've given me is the knowledge that even briefly contemplating abusing said power would probably get me fired. Still, it's a lot of responsibility and my greedy heart is telling me if I play my cards right, in a few months perhaps I might get a small raise. Here's hoping my manager doesn't read this and see what a cretin I am...

Next: to Jer and Lee I must post this link:

Speaking of TMBG, I've noticed that the Simpson's is having a really good streak of episodes right now, followed by the sublime and hilarious Malcolm. I'm also enjoying Bob Odenkirk's cameo role on "Arrested Development"; seeing him and David Cross fucking around like they own the series despite being bit players and bringing all their subtle humor into a show which otherwise repeatedly whacks its viewers with the Comedy Stick is extremely satisfying. For those of you wondering how TMBG leads to this sentence, they wrote the theme song for Malcolm. Also Jer, I think you and I both know that the full title of the Comedy Stick is The Comedy Stick of Compassion.

Ok lastly, something that's been on my mind is the following: I have been watching Chobits recently and, being the Love Hina and Maison Ikkoku fan that I am, I had a minor revelation that all shonen hotel animes have certain requisite episodes. My initial list:

1. Intro Episode - First of all, the lead character is introduced as a scruffy virgin who's clumsy, none-too-bright, easily embarrassed, and a ronin. Also, 9 times out of 10 something happened in his childhood that he doesn't accurately remember. For some reason this person is now living at a hotel with about 6 gorgeous women and possibly one other male, but usually it's just him.

2. The Let's All Go To The Beach episode - self-explanatory. Usually occurs mid-season when the characters are on summer break. Typically includes LOTS of fan service.

3. The Let's All Clean Up! episode - I do not believe I have seen a single anime in which there was not at least one person pushing a small white towel across a wooden floor while wearing a dew-rag, barefoot.

4. The Let's All Go To The Baths episode - Whaaaa? An incredible series of events leads to the lead accidentally seeing the girls naked? That's un-possible!

5. The Let's Be Sad In The Rain episode - Someone inevitable runs away and it starts raining. Usually the lead (who has a heart of gold, you see) stays out long after everyone gives up. The best part of this cliche is that he ALWAYS FINDS HER AT THE PLAYGROUND. Seriously, if this ever happens to me, I'll be like "Wait for it to rain and head to the swings dude."

6. The Aah! A Ghost! episode - Someone tells a scary story and suddenly the younger girls are running around screeching about a ghost. But, it turns out it was just a cute animal!

7. The Summer Festival episode - excuse to put the girls in Kimonos.

8. The Christmas episode - everyone gets dressed up in christmas clothes and the lead gets super-embarrassed over trying to give a gift to the girl he loves.

9. The finale - very little is resolved and the series is left open for a sequel which will never happen ( so we get an OVA instead ).

Leave additional suggestions in the comments section :)

Tuesday, December 09, 2003

Inordinate Pride

Jeremy, I just had to share this moment:

I knew my milk was on the cusp of going past the drink by date, so tonight I ate 4 bowls of cereal.

I miss you, dude.

Friday, December 05, 2003

Notes on Bilingual Fantasy

First of all, here's your new word of the day: "grok". My mom groks grok, so if you don't, go read Heinlen's Stranger in a Strange Land.

Second, I just thought it would be fun to throw it out there that another reason I'm enjoying FFXI so much is that every day I spend 2-3 hours conversing with japanese players in their native tongue. It's really sharpening my skills. Of course, I don't know how useful it would be to be able to say "Please Raise my friend who was just killed" or "Help! I'm being chased by an Orcish Cursemaker!" in downtown Tokyo, but still. Lots of fun.

Erin emailed me a bunch of questions, so maybe later today I'll crosspost my reply here. If you're good. Jeremy, finish your brussel sprouts. I don't care if the dog licked them, you still have to eat them!

Wednesday, December 03, 2003


Thanksgiving was good, then I went to see Bad Santa and laughed my ass off. Yesterday I locked myself out of my car. Your word for the day is "interrobang". I expect this will raise Carina's competitive spirit and she will leave a better word in the comments section. More when I am less insanely busy.