Normally I put about 5 sugars in a 20oz coffee. 4 is enough to make it drinkable, 5 makes it sweet to my taste. 6 is a little too sweet, and 7 is too much. In short, 5 is like baby bear's porridge.

This morning, I decided I am ingesting far too much sugar, and decided to use Equal, my preferred artificial sweetener. Sadly, my company's cafeteria only provides "Sweet 'n Low". Having never tried it before, I decided it couldn't hurt.

Apparently, 1 "Sweet 'n Low" is supposed to be as sweet as 2 teaspoons of sugar, mixed with rotted sour cream. Suffice it to say that my morning coffee is a foul vitriol that has sapped me of what little will to live I have this early in the morning. Luckily, one of my co-workers had a birthday today and offered me a chocolate-chip cookie. Hopefully that will keep me alive until my nanobots can reactivate my adrenal gland from last night's immortality therapy.