Saturday, August 23, 2003

5 Questions from Jeremy B:

1. What's the must-have gadget for the 22nd century?

It's clear to me that the must-have gadget for the 22nd century is of the "all-in-one" variety; that is, it must combine technologies from previous gadgets into one multi-function all-purpose techno-item. Think Adam West's utility belt, but less campy. It would have to manage all kinds of media content such as music, movies, videogames, holo-books etc, as well as being connected to Internet2 for web browsing, e-mail and instant video messaging capabilities. Obviously it would sport a vast array of personal weaponry and defense systems to combat the alien menace. Also, when attached to your belt it would have rudimentary anti-gravity capabilities, although clearly it will take until at least 2160 before the most advanced anti-grav engines will be small enough to attach to what I believe will be called the Apple i-God.

2. If you had to combine two genres of video games to make one new one, what is it and what's the break-out game?

Massively Multiplayer Role Playing Games and Japanese Dating Sims. The breakout title would be called "Super Lucky Let's Data a Gaijin Super-Model!". Your character starts out as a lonely high school boy who can't get a date, and can make his way up the dating food chain by becoming a martial arts film actor who does buddy movies with American comedians, a Yakuza thug who evenually takes over the syndicate, or a business executive in high-finance. Of course other players are competing against you, trying to make better films or build cheaper holo-grids. Additionally, you have a pet chocobo who you can train to become a panty-thief. Try to collect all 7500 pairs, including the super-ultra-rare teddy bear set!

3. Which anime character would you scalp and steal the hair of?

Clearly Super-Saiyan 2 Goku. I'm sorry, but regardless of the episodic nature of the show that hair was fucking cool.

4. Worse nickname - "Weber-or-not" or "Flinka-dinka-doo"?

Weber-or-not is the worse of the two. I would cringe every time I heard it because at least Flinka-dinka-doo doesn't incorporate such a horrible, mismatched pun. I would scream "whether" with over-stated diction and (get ready to cringe mandie) enunciation every time I heard it.

5. The universe is expanding or contracting - which is it and HOW DO YOU KNOW?

The universe must be expanding because of all the hot air generated by mikey walsh. Bah-dum-ching! Just kidding mikey. But seriously, I do think its expanding but the only reason I know is that every time I try to put my pants on they are getting tighter and tighter, and the only possible explanation is that the reduced pressure caused by the universe's expansion is causing my waste to seemingly grow, even though I eat right and excersize every day. Yeah, that's the ticket, I eat right. Yeah, and excersize, see? Waluigi's gonna win, see!

1 -- Leave a comment, saying you want to be interviewed.
2 -- I will respond; I'll ask you five questions.
3 -- You'll update your journal with my five questions, and your five answers.
4 -- You'll include this explanation.
5 -- You'll ask other people five questions when they want to be interviewed

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