Tuesday, October 14, 2003

Lee's 21st Weekend Extravaganza!

So about a month ago I decided that right about this past weekend I'd want a nice vacation, and since it was Lee's 21st birthday I'd surprise her by flying out. Stu and I labored long and hard to make sure that our communiques remained secret. I booked the flight and, Thursday night, drove to O'Hare and flew out to LAX where Stu picked me up.

Sadly, all our efforts were for naught - Stu had cleaned the apartment, which naturally aroused Lee's suspicions. Then when he left, he told her he was "going to pick something up", in an attempt to divert her attention from the possibility that he was going to pick someone up. Sadly, Lee is too smart for her own good (wench!), and deduced that either I or Stacy was arriving. Then when we arrived, she apparently eavesdropped on us and heard two people coming.

Still, I was very pleased by the giddiness and jumping that occured when I came in the door. "I knew it!" she exclaimed, and then proceeded to squeal for at least 5 minutes.

So we all sat around talking for twenty minuted and then Lee wanted to go drink, understandably. After the aborted attempt to walk to the bar (because she forgot her ID), we drove there and she had her blowjob shot, courtesy of Stacy, while Stu and I drank Grey Goose.

(Mom: a blowjob shot is a shot of Bailey's covered with whipped cream which you must drink without using your hands.)

I took a few pictures with my camera phone - they're kind of hard to make out, but the first one is Lee licking off the whipped cream, and the second is her downing the shot:


As you can see, she cheated a little at the end - Stace, that gives you license to demand a re-shot next time you see her.

On Friday, we all tooled around Burbank and went to see School of Rock with Jack Black at the movie theater, and then at night we went to a nice restaurant where lee got plenty of drinks and her friends all showed up to eat TGIF-style food. It was a lovely evening. Stu gave her a very nice Leatherman which she squealed over almost as much as me. (All right, far far more than me.)

Then came Saturday.

Saturday AM we drove to Vegas. Lee's website has a nice account of most of what went on, so I will stick to my gambling.

First of all, roulette is definitely my game. I understand it better than craps, poker, blackjack, etc. Casino war is also easy to understand, but nowhere near as fun. Anyway, Lee and I started off playing nickel slots but that quickly became stupid, so I went over to the $5 roulette table. I started the day with $100 in chips, and had a simple system for roulette. Stu had told me that everyone says when you get to a table, have a system and stick with it no matter what. I really should have listened, but I'll get to that later.

So my system was easy - bet on a color, and if the number comes up even, stay on that color. If it's odd, switch to the other color. On greens, (0 or 00), repeat what should have won. And if your bet loses, follow the system on whatever won.

I started at the first table with 20 bucks and walked away with 80. My system was working! We followed Stu to the blackjack table halfway across the casino hall ( I should mention that we were in the MGM Grand at this point ) where, unfortunately, it was not his day. Then we decided to leave for King Arthur's buffet at the Excalibur.

I should mention that it was an absolutely gorgeous day in Vegas. It was in the high 80's and I could have used a pair of sunglasses, but we were mostly inside the casinos so it was ok. Vegas is surreal - it's a giant adult playground. There was something to do everywhere, and there were adds for all kinds of shows - Wayne Newton, Siegfried & Roy, Bette Midler, everything. Plus there were adds for sex shops and shows all over the place. Before lunch we went into M&M headquarters which has 5 floors of M&M merchandise, including a 5th floor with an entire wall of rainbow hued M&M's in colors you can only get there. (They were $8 a pound, but there were the most gorgeous shades of deep blue and slate gray...) There was also a giant rockcliming wall, it must have been 100 feet high. I was tempted to climb it but it was 15 bucks and there was no prize for getting to the top.

So anyway we go eat delicious food at this buffet and then head into the basement of the Excalibur, where there is a kiddy game room. Lee and I played air hockey and I got on the dance machine, and then we headed back upstairs to the roulette tables again.

So I'm betting money on my system and at one point I've got 350 in chips, I'm on fire, and I pull away from the table with an amazing high. I was just so heady with success. We head over to play slots and video nickel poker, and after half an hour I look at Lee and we're both like "more roulette". I wish that at this point I had called my mom as I had been thinking about, because she undoubtedly would have told me to quit while I was ahead. But my greed got the better of me.

So I go back to the table and start placing $20 bets on red and black, and my system is in a bad streak so I blow $100 bucks in 5 minutes. Then I decide, fuck it, its vegas, and place a $100 chip on black. Lee looks at me and goes "Weber-Flink, you're nuts," and both our hearts are pounding and the ball rolls up ... BLACK! So now I think I am a god and start making huge bets, I think my largest was $175. Eventually I run out of chips so I pull the last 70 out of my wallet and look at the table.

Here is where I wish I'd listened to Stu. I'd played my system, up or down, all night. But now there had been 4 blacks in a row, all even. My system says stay on black, but I'm like, the odds are much better for red. Now, mathematically I know the odds are even, but my fear of losing says red! red! so I put it all on red, and bam, it comes up black.

Anyway, despite coming away 200 bucks down, I had probably the best weekend of my life, so much fun, and I was super-glad I flew out to see my best buds, Stu and Lee.


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