Tuesday, April 05, 2005

An Idea For The "When I'm Rich" List

I have a list of things I will do if I ever get really, really rich - like multi-millionaire rich. I had an idea today that I absolutely have to record somewhere so that I never forget it.

Basically, I will install a custom flatscreen monitor in the front door of my estate, with speakers in the frame. The panel will only be about 8 inches square, and will be filled with my digital doorknocker. It will be an animated lion's head, and will be linked to a database inside the house. When a guest rings the doorbell, a camera in the panel will snap their picture and link it to facial recognition software. If the lion, let's call him Leo, doesn't know the person he will introduce himself. The database will contain thousands of remarks, non-sequiturs, jokes, snarks, etc, which will be divided into categories. Leo will go a long time before repeating the same thing to a guest because he will recognize them. Additionally, I will be able to log into Leo and configure him to respond in certain ways to different recognized faces.

So when Leo recognizes Royale, he'll say something like "Welcome back, Miss Royale. How lovely to see you again!" And when Leo recognizes Mike Walsh, he'll say something like "The police have been alerted that you have violated the terms of your restraining order. Please leave the premises immediately." I think I'll have to get DiCaprio to do the voice work.

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